


Drunken Confessions

by Cat_Alice



Category: Phandom/The Fantastic Foursome (YouTube RPF)
Genre: Alcohol, Depression, M/M, TW: Self Harm, platonic phan
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2015-01-31
Updated: 2015-01-31
Packaged: 2018-03-09 22:04:27
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 772
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/3265979
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Cat_Alice/pseuds/Cat_Alice
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Phil self-harms and Dan finds out whilst they're both drunk, resulting in a lot of tears and a lot of confessions.</p>
            </blockquote>





	Drunken Confessions

**Author's Note:**

> This is based off real events that happened last Saturday whilst I was with my friends so it might get deep. If anyone reading this is suffering with the problems mentioned, please get help. I know it's difficult but once you reach out, it gets better. Trust me.

Getting drunk and eating pizza with your best friend sounded like a great idea to Phil. Although, when it was 10 o'clock and they were already pissed out of their minds, he realised it may have been a mistake. Him and Dan were sat in their lounge, the empty bottles of wine sat off to the side, and half full glasses in their hands. They'd already gone through the "doing stupid things" stage of drunkness like dancing to MTV and attempting gymnastics moves. Now they were in the "deep and revealing conversations" stage of being drunk, and Phil could feel himself closing up. He knew where this conversation was headed. Dan had noticed his arm a few times. Whenever he was questioned, Phil would make excuses and leave the conversation as quickly as possible. It was secret for a reason. 

"Have you ever, like, thought of just ending everything?" Dan slurred out, staring intently at Phil. Phil's eyes sprung open in surprise, his glass frozen half way to his lips. Phil slowly put his glass down and curled his arms around his legs, resting his chin on his knees. "Phil?" Dan tries again. Phil subtly nods his head but Dan still notices it anyway. Dan moves forward towards Phil, stumbling on the couch and landing roughly next to his best friend. He reaches around and tugs Phil into a tight hug, holding onto him for dear life. "How long has it been, Phil?" Dan whispered, moving his head to the space in Phil's neck. Phil shrugged his shoulders as his breath shook.

"A while, probably about a year and a half." Phil said back. He shrunk into himself more, trying to get away from Dan. Dan shifted back to him some space and lent against the couch's arm rest. Phil looks up at Dan, still wrapped up in his own arms. "It started off as a way to cope with all the feelings. I was overwhelmed with everything that was changing and I started to get more hate, everything was happening at once. After a while, it turned into an everyday thing. I couldn't get through a day without cutting into my own skin!" Phil exclaimed, his breathing was increasing and the tears were now a steady stream down his face. Dan placed his hand on Phil's cheek and made him look him in the eyes.

"It's ok, you're fine Phil. I'm gonna help you with this." Dan brought his hand down Phil's face to his arm and held onto it tightly, desperate for contact from his friend. "You know so many people love you for you, Phil, right? If anything gets to be too much for you then please just tell me. I don't want to see you like this." Dan said. He had tears of his own falling, but he was ignoring them, staring at Phil for some kind of reply. Phil nodded his head again, moving his arms open indicating his want for a hug. Dan quickly lent forward and collapsed into Phil's arms, wrapping his own around the shaking man. They both laid there for a while, trying to catch their breath and sort out their heads.

"Hey, Phil." Phil looked down at him as acknowledgement. "Can I see your, you know, cuts, it's alright if not but like..." Phil cut Dan off by moving his sleeve and rolling it up to his elbow. He placed his arm in Dan's eye line. All along Phil's pale skin there was a variety of marks. Some were faded to a white line, others a fresh deep red. Dan winced at the sight of his best friend's arm. He attentively reached out his hand and ghosted it across the raised lines of skin. There must have been at least 60 cuts up his left arm, all at varying stages of recovery. Phil sucked in a breath at the contact and Dan moved his hand away rapidly, scared of hurting Phil. 

"Could we- maybe like- go lay down, I think I need to sleep." Phil says quietly. Dan nods and stands up, pulling Phil with him. He leads him to Phil's room, and they both lay down, snuggled in under the covers. They face each other in the darkness of the room and revel in each others presence. "Thank you." Phil says simply.

"Anytime. I'm always here." Dan replies, moving closer.

They spend the rest of the night enjoying each other's company before falling into a deep sleep. It may not always be easy, but Dan is there for Phil, no matter what problems they'd have to face. They'd do it together.


End file.
